Confessions
by Persia no Hime
Summary: Temari's confessed her feelings to him, now she'll tell you the story of how they came to be. I don't kno if it can be called a oneshot or not, R&R and I kno u'll enjoy it.


**Disclaimer:**

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I don't own Naruto

So don't you dare sue

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**AN: **Very small fanfic in Temari's POV, it's called **_Confessions_**, Temari explains her feelings for Shikamaru during the time she's known him. It's sort of something I came up with out of thin air. You could read it and see for yourself if I describe Temari well.

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**Confessions**

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_It happened when I looked into his eyes. The feeling of weakness and vulnerability. I hated it instantly. And so I hated him. But gradually, the hate subsided and gave way to newer feelings. Feelings that left me awake at night, feelings that turned the color of my cheeks red whenever I was around my brothers. They never figured out, **he** never figured it, men are so clueless sometimes, but I could not let things be._

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_I wasn't always like this, I've said it before. My first feelings of him were fear. He could disarm me easily when I was one of the best in my village. And it didn't help that he was three years younger than me. How could I, not be good enough for a...a...vermin from Konoha? Konoha of all the places. And my first fight with him stayed in my mind for a very long time. Not even my father's death could tear me apart from my careful consideration. It helped a lot, now that my two brothers were getting along. Gaara was happy, and Kankuro didn't need me to keep him alive each second. Gaara's resurrection made me happy as well and for a while, only a little while, I forgot my shameful defeat. But it came back one night when I was lying in my bed, with nothing to think about. The feeling of hatred that surged through me was unbelievable-Yes it is quiet surprising when I say hatred compared to the feelings I have now- and for a few minutes I could do nothing except curse that slimy...little...I could not forget his name, but I couldn't bring myself to say it at loud. Saying it at loud would mean that I had acknowledged defeat. Somewhere in my subconscious mind, I had. But I was too proud to admit it to myself then. And so began my sleepless nights of scheming and planing. _

_When I heard about the new alliance, I was both happy and angry. I was happy because now, I could see him and maybe have a second chance at testing myself. I was angry though that I could not kill the kid now or else it would break the peace. Not that I could ever bring myself to kill a human being, but if the kid was too cocky..._

_But I didn't know him then, I didn't know how wonderful he was, how kind, how loyal, how forgiving. I didn't know any of that and hated him, and for that reason alone I am shameful. Shameful that I judged too quickly. But what else could I have expected. I had never learned the concept of forgiveness, or even affection towards strangers, I had never learned to have affection for my siblings until the death of our father. _

_My brothers did not share the same feelings as me. Gaara was content. He was happy that no one was going to get hurt. It surprised Kankuro and me to know that Gaara actually cared about human life. Cared so much in fact, that when the Sound stole the Uchiha brat-you can't call it kidnapping and you can't call the Uchiha anything else but a brat-he was the first to offer help. Of course Gaara offering help has always included me and Kankuro in some ways. And so we were stuck chasing the five Konoha genin and the brat who had decided he was too good for them. _

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_I was thrilled. Now came my chance to shine. The Nara kid-I had told myself I would not cower from the name- was with them. He was going to witness my ability and he was going to admire my strength. He would see me help him and his comrades and it would wipe any trace of a cocky smile off his face._

_Of course I never expected, I never thought I'd be the one to save his life and his alone. I would have gladly let him be killed, but this was my mission. I could not turn my back on a mission no matter how much I wanted him dead. Now of course, I'd easily kill myself to keep him safe, but then I was different. When Gaara told me that I would go straight and there I'd find the him, my jaw involuntarily dropped. But before I could protest they were both gone. Each were to help another one of the genins that had gotten himself into trouble. I went forward cautiously. Filled with determination. It wasn't a fight but it was as good as one. I would defeat the one he could not. I would do it in a civil way and then he had no choice but to realize that I was better than him._

_I was so obsessed it was scary, I realize now what a selfish person I am, I never thought of his life, not even once. I only thought of the glorious feeling that I am better, that I am stronger and he, even though he is a man-well he wasn't one then...- is not in any way better than me. _

_I got to him just in time. It was a close call, and I shudder whenever I think of it. But I got there and I saved him. The flute girl was there looking at me weirdly, like I'd just grown horns-funny maybe she thought I was a mirror- but I did not care for her. I wanted to know how he felt and I wanted to feel the glory. When he spoke, there was no sign of admiration, only surprise, surprise that I was there saving his life. It wasn't what I wanted so I quickly made a decision, I would play with him, and that's what I did, I challenged his intelligence. It worked, he shut up. And now for the Sound Ninja. She was easy to defeat and despite myself, I could not help but turn around and smile at him. He had told me I could not defeat the girl. Here I was still standing with my opponent dead. I hoped my smile would remind him of that. _

_I don't know what my smile did to him, but I know what his did to me. It unnerved me and left me with a thumping heart. I hated him more now, that was my thoughts all the way back to Konoha. He left me alone, his friend was hurt and he did not wish to stay with someone as scary as me. Those were his exact words. _

_I went to the hospital, looking to criticize him. But when I saw him there, broken and alone, something woke up in me. It happened so suddenly, I never knew why...His tears sent flutters down my heart, and in those tears I saw the man his father failed to see, the man he would become someday. That could've been the first time we'd met, after he left the hospital, I followed him, tried to comfort him, and stayed with him as long as I could. I knew the change in my attitude must have confused him. But I did not care, in that day I knew that I cared for him._

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_I don't know how the years past but they did. I saw him again here and there and he was always in my mind. I took comfort in thinking that we were friends and tried my best to be as nice as possible. It amused me how confused he could get by the way I acted, but my best chance didn't come until about three years later,_

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I have worked with him for so long It is ordinary for him to show up at the place I'm staying. I **expect** him to be there waiting for me, even if there is nothing left for us to do, but that day, he wasn't. So I went looking for him.

It's trued that I'm not a native of Konoha but I've been there so many times I know it almost as well as Suna. I decided to look at every restaurant I could find first. If Shikamaru wasn't with me, he'd have to be with Chouji. I had looked at half of the restaurants in Konoha when I finally spotted Chouji stuffing his face with his favorite food. When he saw me he waved for me to join him.

"Have you seen Shikamaru?" I didn't bother to say hi. Chouji was a nice kid, but I did not care for a conversation right then.

Chouji regarded me for a minute then smiled. "Aren't you guys finished with your paperwork?" He asked.

Oh god, Please let Chouji be as dumb as some people say he is. Or at least let him think something else besides the attraction theory that everyone seemed to come up with these days.

I tried to look as intimidating as I could and glared at him. "So what?"

"Nothing, but I advise you not to bother him today" Chouji said and went back to his food.

"Why?" I wouldn't let this go easily.

"Look don't ask too many questions, just go back to your home or wherever it is you live." Chouji snapped.

My hand instantly flew to my fan and I growled. "Tell me where he is, NOW!"

Chouji looked scared for a minute, then he sighed and shook his head. "He's in the cemetery but don't ask me why he's there."

Without a second look, I turned and fled from the restaurant, the most horrible thought had just crossed my head. Why was Shikamaru in the cemetery? He didn't have any missions for the past month. He couldn't have...

Emotions clouded my mind as tears clouded my eyes. I could not think clearly, all that ran through my head was, _please be alive! _My poor brain could not stop to think how illogical it'd be for him to be dead and me not knowing about it. But I did not even let logic cross my mind.

It seemed like an eternity passed and I still hadn't reached the cemetery. I had seen it only once before, when Shikamaru had shown me his late sensei's grave and told me about his two weeks of taking up smoking. I had laughed then, but now I could not see the humor in it.

When I finally got to the cemetery I was out of breath, but my eyes spotted one person standing next to a grave. With my remaining strength I shouted the only name that I could of.

"_SHIKAMARU!"_

He turned around slowly and looked at me with surprise. I was so embarrassed then, by the thoughts that had crossed my mind, and by the tears that kept on rolling down my cheeks, now out of happiness and relief. And then I started laughing, laughing at myself and at my thoughts. He looked even more puzzled but he forced on a smile and walked towards me.

"What is it?" he asked, probably concerned for my sanity.

"Why are you here?" I asked panting.

He shrugged. "Asuma's Anniversary." he said as casually as he could manage. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"I came looking for you." I said making a decision. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Well then tell me." he said after I refused to go on.

"I love you!"

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**THE END**

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**AN:** I love hearing about what ppl think. The review button is down there, if you read, Review!!!


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